Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Engaged.

In my nerdy, faux-Trekkie brain I've been wanting to make a Picard "Engage!" pun for a long time. But I had to actually get engaged first. So I did.

I flew into Pittsburgh a day earlier than Alison expected me, which required a good bit of lying and manipulating (good practice for marriage) beforehand. I took a taxi to her house, but of course she had just left to run some errands with her mom. I made a (brilliant) story about having sent her a package and expecting her to get it anytime now in an effort to lure her back homeward as soon as possible. When she pulled up to her house, there was I on her front porch with rose in hand, shooting the breeze with her Pepe.

We enjoyed each other's much-missed company for the duration of the afternoon, and then I took her to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for dinner. I very straightforwardly brought up the question of marriage, and within the context of a very normal, calm conversation "popped the question." Sorry; no monkeys, hot air balloons, or robotic quadrapeds were involved in the proposal in any way.

Of course she said "yes," otherwise I would not be recounting this tale. Instead I'd be halfway to Siberia by now, with only the clothes on my back and an insatiable thirst for revenge.

Other than just basking in the euphoria of strutting about town with a be-ringed fiancée, I have enjoyed various activities already during my time in Pittsburgh. We've eaten at several fantastic restaurants, spent time with Matt and Katie Harber, heard Mahler's "Resurrection" symphony, heard the Penguins win the Stanley Cup on the car radio, gone kayaking, and explored the woods near Alison's house with her two precocious twin brothers (who I have already clearly informed that I will be shipping off to reform school as soon as I marry their sister). Yet to do: more wonderful restaurants, lots of good dessert, cathartic piano playing, lots of walking, seeing Up!, and of course more basking.

When I return to Estes Park next Friday, I will begin guiding tours full time. I'm using this vacation week to compile as many bad puns as possible.