Bad Tour Guide Jokes

I am going to be a tour guide.

My prayers for a transfer of job duties was answered in a wonderful way this week. I will finish out the month of May working at the cafe, and then after a brief visit to Pittsburgh will start as a fulltime tour guide at the Stanley.

It will be a wonderful job that will incorporate my love of performance and public speaking. It will enable me to know the fascinating history of the hotel inside and out. It will provide a very normal 9—5 workday for me - so no more pre-6AM alarms going off.

I now have to decide whether I should develop an obnoxious routine of cliche tour guide schtick and bad ghost and death puns - or take a different approach. I'm leaning towards the latter, although the former does have its ironic appeal. I still like the idea of emphasizing words and syllables as though I were making a pun...without it making any sense. I.e., "Please watch your DEAD step!"

I am very thankful and very excited about spending the majority of my summer in this position. I won't dare say that my coffee career is finally coming to an end, though. I know better than to do that.

In other news, I'm still suffering the allergic reaction to some mysterious variable. I'm itching for a cure, but I have no idea what the cause is.

Tonight I hope to fellowship with Eric and Leslie Ludy. It will be nice to see them again.

I'm counting down the seconds until Alison's return to the States. Lady Cluck was absolutely right about two things: King Richard the Lion did, indeed, end up with an outlaw for an in-law. AND, absence does, indeed, make the heart grow fonder.